What to Wear to a Funeral in the UK

When it comes to attending a funeral in the UK, selecting the appropriate attire is a solemn and respectful gesture. Although many people enjoy dressing well for significant events, funerals are guided by tradition and sorrow rather than sartorial elegance.

The primary purpose of a funeral is to pay tribute to the deceased and honour their wishes and those of their grieving family. Despite the grief and sadness, mourners come together to show their respect for the departed, and their appearance plays a crucial role in conveying this unity.

While there are various types of funerals, each with specific dress codes, the common thread is the need to appear respectful and well put together. Your funeral attire need not be extravagant; it should simply meet these core requirements and align with the family's preferences.

In this guide, we'll explore the established traditions surrounding funeral attire and discuss situations where departure from traditional dark colours is acceptable.

Do I Have to Wear Black at a Funeral?

For most traditional funerals in the UK, the widely accepted dress code involves black and other dark colors with modest and respectful attire. Men typically wear suits, while women opt for long dresses. However, it's essential to note that this isn't a universal rule. Wearing black to a Sikh or Hindu funeral, for example, is considered inappropriate, and white attire is more appropriate.

In recent times, some individuals request mourners to wear brightly coloured clothing or even fancy dress. Additionally, various religions and cultures have their own customs regarding funeral attire.

The History of Black as Mourning Attire in the UK and Western Cultures

Black has long been the traditional color of mourning in Western and European cultures. This tradition can be traced back to ancient Rome, where black garments were worn at funerals and solemn events. Historians note that the practice spread, and the family of the deceased also began wearing black togas during a prolonged mourning period.

In the UK, white was a more common mourning color as it symbolised purity and rebirth and was a cost-effective choice, as it required no dyeing. Queen Victoria's extended mourning period, following the death of Prince Albert in 1861, helped popularize black mourning attire.

By the early 20th century, the aftermath of the First World War and the 1918-19 influenza epidemic saw widespread mourning, with black becoming the predominant colour for funeral fashion.

Today, black is a versatile and stylish colour, no longer exclusive to mourning attire. It's relatively easy to put together a fashionable yet respectful outfit suitable for a funeral.

Funeral Attire for Women

A notable example of appropriate funeral attire is Victoria Beckham's outfit at the funeral of Dame Vivienne Westwood in 2022. She wore a simple black dress with a high neckline and long sleeves, paired with a black hat and clutch bag.

Online shopping and affordable ready-to-wear fashion make it accessible to create a funeral outfit without breaking the bank. The key is to choose classic, understated pieces.

For women attending a funeral, classic options include:

• A black or navy sleeveless dress, possibly with a shawl covering the shoulders.

• A knee-length or longer dress.

• A long-sleeved dress.

• A smart trouser suit or a turtleneck jumper with trousers.

• Adding a well-tailored blazer for a polished look.

Younger girls and teenagers can put together a respectful outfit from their existing wardrobe, focusing on a subtle colour palette of black, navy, or grey. Options include a pencil skirt, a longer dress, or smart trousers with a neutral-coloured smart shirt.

Funeral Attire for Men

For men attending a funeral, modesty in dark, muted colours is key. Traditional funeral attire for men includes:

• A well-tailored black suit.

• A clean and pressed white shirt.

• A black tie.

• Black shoes (dark brown is also acceptable).

Navy or charcoal grey suits are suitable alternatives, paired with a white shirt and dark tie. If a suit is unavailable, dark-coloured trousers, a white or pale blue shirt, and dark shoes suffice. In winter, a dark overcoat adds gravitas to the look.

Teenage boys can follow similar guidelines, wearing smart trousers and a freshly ironed shirt, possibly with a tie. The focus should be on black, navy, or neutral colours.

If you must have a suit for a funeral, consider borrowing or renting one, which is more sustainable and budget-friendly.

Selecting the Right Funeral Footwear

Comfortable footwear is essential when attending a funeral, as it can be a long day with periods of standing and walking between venues. Choose shoes that are:

• Appropriate for the somber occasion.

• Comfortable for extended standing.

• Suitable for the weather conditions.

For women, footwear options include:

• Pumps or low heel shoes.

• Ballet flats.

• Ankle boots (ideal for winter or with a long dress).

• Mary Jane shoes.

• Loafers.

Avoid wearing excessively high stiletto heels, strappy heels, or flashy colours.

For men, classic shoe styles include:

• Oxfords.

• Brogues.

• Smart boots.

Wearing Jewellery at a Funeral

Wearing jewellery at a funeral is acceptable, provided it is understated and does not draw excessive attention. The focus should be on honouring the deceased, so choose simple gold and silver pieces or items related to religious faith, such as a crucifix.

Pearls, with their association with mourning wear, are a suitable choice for funeral jewelry. The British Royal Family has a tradition of wearing pearls at funerals. Personal or emotionally significant jewellery can also be worn as a heartfelt tribute.

Colourful Funerals with No Black Attire

While black remains the dominant colour for funeral attire in Western Europe, some individuals opt for bright colours or specifically request that mourners wear vibrant clothing to celebrate life rather than mourn. It's essential to adhere to the family's wishes or the invitation's dress code.

Unless specified otherwise, maintain a smart, classic look with a touch of colour. The focus at a funeral should always be on honoring the memory of the deceased and supporting their family. In uncertain situations, a respectful and comfortable outfit in dark colours is a safe choice.

In summary, the most crucial aspect of attending a funeral is to adhere to the dress code and maintain the focus on honouring the deceased. Choose attire that is comfortable, weather-appropriate, and respectful, allowing you to provide support and comfort to those in mourning on this emotionally charged day.